Autumn Thoughts: From Tragic Failure to Godly Triumph

With Fall comes many things. If you've noticed it is the beginning of the Christmas season for retail stores. In reality it is the time of year when our world becomes filled with all kinds of color. Our time is filled with all kinds of activity, hayrides, bonfires on chilly nights, state fair (at least here in NC)...as we enter into October my mind drifts to something else...while I don't dwell on it, I can't help but remember 1 of my biggest failures as a person, as a father, as a husband...it started on the way to Homecoming at Southern Wesleyan University. We stopped at Concord Mills in Concord NC to grab lunch. While eating our 5 month old son Andrew (he is now 10 years old) became sick...among other things he turned a shade of gray I had never seen nor seen since. As a first time parent and only being 25 years old I became scared to death. 

Instead of heading to South Carolina we started back home only making it to my parents home in High Point NC, where a doctor told us it was just a virus. His color returned and he seemed to be doing okay until later that the next night. Things quickly went down hill...here is where my failure enters...instead of remaining by his and Christy's (my wife) side I barricaded myself in the bedroom...during that time my wife had been in contact with our doctor several times. The last time they told us to go to the emergency room. 

We arrived at WakeMed in Raleigh NC after mid-night. He was admitted and for several hours they ran tests still not knowing what was going on with his 5 month old body. During that time of waiting I remained on the run. I was in the hospital but I found a waiting room and sat there, leaving Christy and Andrew in the room (should add my Mother-in-law had come down. She was in the room with them)...about 5 hours later the head of pediatrics was called in. He determined what the issue was and immediately prepared for a procedure to cure the problem...you would think I would have been okay by then but I wasn't because we were in a waiting period...there was the slight possibility the procedure wouldn't permanently work leading to the possibility of surgery...I was scared of the possibility...I ran...leaving Christy and Andrew in the hospital room...the end result was Andrew was fine...the procedure worked and he was able to go home after a night of observation. 

Once Andrew came home my running didn't stop except this time I also began running from God...even though I wanted to give up on Him He would give up on me. In spite of my best efforts I couldn't get away. God put family in my path. God put a godly man named Dr. Stewart in my path. Dr. Stewart was so godly he gave it to me straight. He made me work...

While this was one of my greatest failures it has become one of God's triumphs...I learned God is my Redeemer...He not only redeemed my life He redeemed my situation...I learned He can turn the meaningless into meaningful...I learned God wasn't God of my life...I was controlled by my emotions and what controls you is your God...10 yeas later God continues to use my story to help others...this experience has opened so many doors to talk about where I was to where I am at now...Mark Batterson in In the Pit on a Snowy Day writes, 'God is in the business of recycling our pain and using it for someone else's gain...if you don't turn your adversity into a ministry, then your pain remains your pain. But if you allow God to translate your adversity into ministry then you pain becomes someone else's gain.' That is how God turns the meaningless into meaningful.

Don't let your failures remain your failures...let it become one of God's triumphs!